Let's Get the Sob Story Out of the Way First

Hello, and welcome to my blog, Full Figured Diva. My name is Liz, and like many people, my ass is far bigger than it should be … as well as my thighs, waist, arms and every other part of my body. A touch of self-pity and low self esteem on top of bad eating habits and little-to-no-exercise and before I knew it, my weight had reached nearly 250 pounds. I'm really embarrassed to admit that, actually, but I'm going for honesty in this blog. I ate my feelings, my delicious sugar-coated unhappiness, and pretended I didn't know better.

I suppose I could rant at length if I wanted to about all the factors contributing to why I overeat. There have been a lot of people in my life who made it clear that I was never going to be thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough or able to conform enough, and it's left me with an enormous sense of failure. I can't even begin to express how hard I have failed on so many occasions, and I always found myself turning to food whenever stressed or upset. I didn't think I was good enough for anyone or anything.

Which was stupid. Really, REALLY stupid. Not only was I letting others hurt me, I was hurting myself too. Even worse, I allowed it to happen despite knowing better.

My wake up call that I needed to change and stop making excuses occurred early last month. My little sister, Jen, suddenly had a seizure at work and was rushed to the hospital. Initially, doctors suspected a brain tumor. It turned out to be an arteriovenous malformation, which was still pretty scary. She had brain surgery and some of her hair was shaved. She's not allowed to drive. Her hands aren't working properly. She can't work. She had to leave school. Jen was always very independent and it was all taken away from her. Eventually, she will be okay, I think, but she's going through so many emotions I can't even begin to pretend to know how she feels.

My sister could not control what happened to her, but all the things that were putting MY health at risk? Yeah, they were─ARE totally my own fault. I may not be able to foresee my future, but at least I can make sure that I do everything in my power to not contribute to my own misfortune. It's time to make some positive changes in my life.

Because I'm a great person, dammit, and I owe it to myself to aim for all that potential I've spent far too much time squandering. I am a diva, through and through, and why should I keep hiding how fabulous I am? Several weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers, because I followed the previous program years ago and had some success. I'm down more than ten pounds already, but it's too soon to celebrate yet. There is still so much to learn when it comes to creating a healthy and positive lifestyle for myself, but I've always liked challenges and I am more than ready to face this challenge and hopefully find the success I've denied myself for so long.

I am worth it.

TO BE CONTINUED...